Chocolate Aspirin

6 Oct

There are the best of times, there are the worst of the times; And then there’s the perpetual war my body wages against me once a month, also known as periods. I know, it’s a touchy topic. One I usually mask myself. Frankly, I prefer a week-long rant against stupid Eve. Loads of sleep. A diet of anything chocolate, anything aspirin and tea, namely peppermint. And warm fuzzy socks.

It also used to mean a week of me going missing in action from whoever I was kinda seeing at the time. Only my family and coworkers could witness the non-perky, grumpy monster I become. That is until now. Starting tomorrow I’m kinda the head honcho in my office. Which means I can’t be a brat. Or be the unstable bundle of emotions that I normally melt into monthly. I can’t be a host of ungodly glares and icy words and then go back to the big smiles and jolly spirit I normally emit.

I have to first, gasp, manage myself to manage this account. Especially with nothing but guys in my chain of command. At my last office, our team did have one other woman. We would swap Advil. Don’t fear. I’ve been practicing, thank God. Yep. Several months ago, my boyfriend and I had a conversation that went something like this:

Him: “Hey. So when am I going to see you again?”

Me: (Breaks out calendar) “Well, I’m on my period this week (Sigh).”

Him: “Soooo?”

Me: “So?”

Him: “I still want to be around you.”

Gasp. I’m sorry but to me this was a foreign concept. I don’t like myself a week out of every month. With most guys I’ve knew, even mentioning the “p” word was a free pass to hibernate and their next question was merely when is it over. The notion that this man still wanted me around even when I wasn’t feeling my best blew my mind. And the fact that I wanted him around made it even weirder.

It also means I no longer have an excuse. I can’t turn into a werewolf every month and use the “P” world as my get out of jail pass. I have to be the same Shonda. With my family, my friends, my boyfriend and now my coworkers.

Sigh. I can do this. Just pass me the chocolate and aspirin.


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