How Convenient!

20 Dec

In a world where fast food and email reign supreme and everything is available at the touch of a button or screen, I can’t help but think humanity’s quest for the fast, easy and convenient bears some effect on our personal relationships.   

It certainly bears weight on mine.

Mismatched and constantly conflicting schedules are enough to warrant abandonment in a life where every second outside of the office and work-related events is precious. Settling for what’s readily available, easy and most accessible is common. I wonder what it would take to overwhelm relationships of convenience. What type of friend or lover would make the inconvenience of time and distance worthwhile?

A week ago, a bouquet of roses and a take-out dinner from Kona Grill was delivered to me at my job. The note revealed that the gift was from a gent I’d met the day before. When I called to thank him for the sweet expression, I learned that the Houston native was literally in town for training for another week, before moving to Louisiana.


Honestly, I was less than thrilled. Though I love the romantic flicks where a woman and man groom and tend to their love irrespective of distance and obstacles, I don’t think myself capable of the same. Surely, there’s someone living in the same time and place up for grabs, I mused. Someone more convenient.

My thoughts returned to my relationships of yesteryear.  One abandoned upon college graduation. Another when I went to study abroad. And now, yet another teeters on the brink of ending as my new job constantly invades previously sacred weekends and nights.

Honestly, most of my relationships have been sparked by convenience. You’re available. I’m available. You’re decent. So am I.

But what happens when relationships of convenience become inconvenient? Relationships seem to wither away when the homegirl next door moves across the country, the favorite classmate becomes only visible through Skype, and the once wide open boo devolves into nothing more than a series of missed calls, texts and voicemails.

Perhaps that’s why celebrities and stars have such a high relationship turnover. They live in a hyper-connected world where everything they want is literally at their fingertips. When something or someone becomes an inconvenience, they can simply find a replacement.

True friendship isn’t about being there when it’s convenient; it’s about being there when it’s not.

Perhaps inconvenience is simply a relationship’s litmus test. The fickle and superficial ones surrender under its pressure, while the truly sturdy ones, though mutual work and commitment, manage to survive and thrive.

In 2012, my goal is to make a committed attempt to form more friendships and relationships based on true compatibility instead of simply settling for what’s convenient.

Nobody is forgotten when it is convenient to remember him.— Benjamin Disraeli


8 Responses to “How Convenient!”

  1. Jordan... December 20, 2011 at 8:07 am #

    Well said.


  2. The Nile Valley Griot December 20, 2011 at 11:54 am #

    very thought provoking!!


    • lcooksmarketer1 December 20, 2011 at 10:27 pm #

      Thanks Marvin! It’s truly a shame that so many of our relationships are based solely on convenience.I had a serious “aha” moment on yesterday. LOL.


      • Jordan... December 21, 2011 at 8:56 am #

        I know I’ve probably missed out on a few relationships myself all for the sake of ‘convenience’.


  3. The Nile Valley Griot December 22, 2011 at 8:06 am #

    I see….lol You certainly deserve better than “7-11” relationships.


  4. lcooksmarketer1 December 23, 2011 at 9:36 pm #

    @Jordan: Me too.Def aiming for better in 2012.


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